7/13 – 4 pm Report
My morning went fine but around 12 pm something upset me. Usually when this occurs I feel very sleepy – and this occasion was no exception, so I laid down and slept for an hour. When I awoke I was still down, so I attempted to “weather the storm” and watched two hours of Netflix. When I had done this I was still feeling down but did not want to spend any more time watching anything, so I got up and decided to use the Fisher Wallace CES again. The instructions indicated not to use it at intervals closer than 6 hours, but around 9 had passed – so I figured I was good.
While I used the device I walked around and read from Dale and Juanita Ryan’s Rooted in God’s Love and Malcolm Boyd and J. Jon Bruno’s In Times Like These: How We Pray. When all was said and done I still feel pretty down, but am now walking and reading still.
7/14 – 12 am Report
I received devastating news. I am heartbroken. Life feels absolutely impossible. I take a clonazepam, as I know there is no way I will be able to sleep and then use the CES. Forget running it at Level 2, I ran it at Level 4. No pain, but I could feel a visual disturbance. A pulsing at the edges of my vision, and everything shakes a little. Almost as if there are some tremors from an earthquake or one is out-of-breath and seeing stars – that sort of thing.
But the visual disturbance isn’t too bad and the pain is insufferable [not from the device; psychologically], so I’ll stick with it.
7/14 – 8 am Report
I’m awake and still devastated. I crank up the CES to Level 4 and run it again. The same visual disturbances – but perhaps slightly less pronounced. I slept fine last night, but this is probably due to the clonazepam. My mood has hit an all-time low, but this is due to the situation and not due to the CES. I am in hell.
3 thoughts on “Day 3 – Fisher Wallace CES Journal.”
No matter how dark things get…know that you have so many people who love you more than you can imagine and who are here for you, no matter what. You mean the world to us.
Dave, I am sorry you are having a hard time. If there is something I can do to help, name it.
Thanks Mary. 🙂 I appreciate it!