7/17 – 9 AM Report
As I reported in my last post, I awoke at 8 am in a fairly stable state, had not used clonazepam the night before , but had slept successfully. I utilized the device at Level 4 around 9 AM.
7/17 – 3 PM Report
I did not use the device again in the afternoon as I have been doing, not b/c I did not want to, but b/c I needed to go do some work for a client. I continued to be emotionally stable throughout the day with occasional periods of deep gut/heart wrenching.
7/17 – 11:30 PM Report
I had four meetings today (besides the consulting), two of them were fairly difficult. The meetings were difficult not b/c of the topics under discussion but b/c my thoughts were opposed with such strength of conviction. I have to “be my own man” – but I find it difficult to “stay the course” when individuals I highly respect attempt fervently to dissuade me from a course of action.
Knowing that my mental illness can at times skew my perspective on life and decisions I try to involve others in the decision making process frequently…and I especially try to seriously consider when others oppose my ideas/plans/philosophy/theology.
This is a good thing, but in the end, I still bear responsibility for making the choice. This is scary for someone with OCD – b/c we desire certainty. Certainty that we are making the right choice, doing the right thing – and the truth is that most of life is about uncertainty. Even the certain is uncertain…
I used the device again around this time or a little later, again at Level 4 without side effects.
7/18 – 8:45 AM Report
I’m up again and running the device at Level 4. I should note one small (very small) side effect I’ve noticed upon occasion. When I first power up the device I sometimes feel a slight (very slight) pain on the skin on one side (like a very minor electrical zap one might get from static electricity; and it is only on the skin, not anything deep like within the brain or etc.), it abates after only a second or two and the rest of the process is painless – and it doesn’t always happen.
I have been successfully interacting with electronics and water (not taking showers or swimming, but washing hands, etc.) while wearing the device without any negative results to myself or the electronics. I have also been wearing my glasses and while they sometimes bump up against the sponge containers, I’ve experienced no negative effects from such (e.g. I wondered if I might receive some form of minor shock).
I slept last night without clonazepam and slept restfully.
I feel pretty emotionally drained. I’m hoping I can rest a bit today, though I need to do some more consulting work later in the day. However, in spite of all this, I do feel that my underlying dysthymia (low-level, continuous depression) has not been nearly as bad since starting to utilize the CES device and that the significant emotional exhaustion and bouts of gut/heart wrenching depression/pain are situational rather than biological. I also feel that the CES device does calm my mind before going to sleep and may (when I am not deeply distressed situationally) be enough to allow me to fall asleep quickly and experience a good night’s rest.
That said, this analysis is entirely suspect due to the uncontrolled variable of my current situation. All these conclusions are extremely preliminary.
I appreciate the offers of support, encouragement, and assistance I have received – much more than I can express in words, or even in person (most know my emotional range is limited; so even when I am deeply touched, hurt, etc. I usually don’t express with normative social cues and folks must rely on my spoken/written word to know my emotional state…why this is, is a topic for another day). Please know that while I have not felt I *needed* anything at this time, the one thing I have perhaps *needed* is exactly what has been offered – the offer of support from people I care about and trust.
Your prayers are also deeply appreciated and coveted.
2 thoughts on “Day 7 – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator”
Does the fisher stimulater hAve Any negative interactions with clonazapan at all
My understanding is that the device is safe to use in conjunction with medications but I would suggest speaking with Fisher Wallace directly (you can call/email them) and speaking with your doctor.