7/27 – 9:00 AM

It was a rough night. I attempted to go to sleep, but ended up till 2. Took clonazepam to finally force myself to drowse off. I used the CES device this morning. It is interesting, on rare occasions I can feel the faintest of electrical zaps – this seems to occur primarily when I move as quickly as possible from Off –> Level 4. It is less than one gets from licking a 9-Volt battery (Wait…What? Who has done that?!?).

I also have noticed I’ve had some very slight pressure/headaches – but these don’t seem to be exclusively centered around using the CES AND I suspect are probably caused by dehydration. I’ve been losing weight rapidly (173.8 lbs down from 185-190 lbs for the last few years), not eating a ton, and I think not consuming as much liquids as usual. Yes, I’m trying to do better about this.

7/27 – 3:00 PM

The day has been pretty rough. I’m preparing to preach on hell tomorrow, and while this is an area I have done fairly extensive research on, it is also an area which I find very disturbing, depressing, confusing, and so on. Mix in a good bit of situational depression and it makes for a rough day.

But, Charity let me have one of her “massage sessions” at Hand & Stone Massage Spa or something like that…and I think I feel asleep…it was very relaxing. I wanted to go b/c I’ve been having lower/middle back pain (I suspect from using my standing desk so frequently and also from walking while reading [holding the book in my hands and looking down at it while walking is probably ergonomically bad). Unfortunately, the back pain (which is very minor/tolerable but annoying) flared up soon after I began reading and walking simultaneously again.

7/27 – 11:00 PM

Did a lot more reading on hell. Its funny, I could probably preach a sermon without reading anything – but I always want to refresh my mind before preaching…and then the deeper I get into it the more I realize how little I know…but, have to make a cut-off somewhere, so I did.

Hell is still a very difficult topic for me to study / think about. I get into tiffs with God about it on occasion – but He is a good listener and extremely patient. Overall, it was a pretty rough / exhausting day…but the depression was mainly situational (including studying hell).