Day 18 – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator

Sitting in the dark shaking in a cold wind 
   dying to get well, keep trying but I'm broken
A kiss on my lips that used to thrill me, 
    if I go another day it's gonna kill me
Slipped into a dream woke up in a nightmare 
    scars on my skin, don't know how they got there
How heavy was the crown of thorns? 
    I wonder if I'm too far gone?

They say Jesus walked the dark hills 
   He broke bread with beggars and thieves
If I cry out in this darkness, 
   if I fall down on my knees
If He walks the dark hills, 
   will He come for me? 
   Will He come save me?

7/28 – 8:00 AM Report

I’m up. I feel a little anxious about the service, but also peaceful. I won’t get a chance to use the CES before church, but will take the usual medications.

Searching for the truth through stained glass windows 
   covered up in shame, things that only I know
Strike a match and light another candle, 
   raise my hands to sing a pretty song.
If anybody knew this ugliness inside me 
   would they throw a stone, 
   would they crucify me?
How heavy was the crown of thorns? 
   I wonder if I'm too far gone?

They say Jesus walked the dark hills 
   He broke break with beggars and thieves
If I cry out in this darkness, 
   if I fall down on my knees
If He walks the dark hills, 
   will He come for me?
   Will He come save me?

How heavy was the crown of thorns? 
   I wonder if I'm too far gone?

7/28 – 1:00 PM Report

Preached on hell. It is a topic I have a lot of interest in, but which also sickens and repels me. I shared what I needed to share about it, but I’m glad I won’t have to preach on it again for a while. I’m exhausted and take a nap.

They say Jesus walks the dark hills 
   He breaks bread with beggars and thieves
When I cry out in this darkness, 
   When I fall down on my knees
When He walks the dark hills, 
   I know He'll come for me. 
   I know He'll come save me.

7/28 – 5:00 PM Report

Seems I ate something that didn’t agree with me. I spend some time hugging the toilet. Afterwards I use the CES, which I hadn’t utilized yet today.

Postscript

I went to bed around 11:30 pm on 7/28 but was awake by 1:00 am 7/29, so I utilized the CES again and then went back to bed. I was able to fall asleep fairly easily…

(Lyrics are from Day of Fire‘s song The Dark Hills [Spotify Link] on the album Losing All).

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