Writing objective posts about past history is difficult – even if it is the day before. You tend to write the history through the eyes of the way you feel now. Right now, I’m resilient – but discouraged. Sometimes I’m just devastated, with no resilience…but right now, I’m a bit down, but I know I’ll bounce back…Anyways, this feeling wants to color what I write about yesterday…
Yesterday was Wednesday, August 21st. It began at 1 am, when as has been usual for me, I woke up and was unable to fall back asleep.
Aside: I don’t want cats anymore. Okay, maybe I’d keep George. But Hermione, Barclay, and Piper can all go. I feel like a prisoner in my own house. They follow me around whining. Right now my clonazepam and my CES device are downstairs and I don’t feel like skirting past them as they cry for more food. I’m tired of them fighting with each other and making a racket and knocking things down. Chewing through my earbuds and AC adapters and everything else. Making smelly poop in litter boxes instead of on toilets and flushing it down the drain. Throwing up hairballs. Running outside while I’m trying to go somewhere important.
Anyways, I was up from 1 am – 4 am – I read Scriptures and organized internet bookmarks. I have around as many internet bookmarks as I do books. I did a purge and deleted several hundred.
Yesterday wasn’t an awful day, but it wasn’t a good day. It was a “listless” day. I did do some significant cleaning. I watched some TV and read. I knew today (Thursday) was going to be a long day – so I took it easy.
I used the CES morning and night. Its getting close to my sixty days for returning the device. I’m going to ask them to extend my trial. If not, I’ll try returning it and see what the next few weeks are like…If they are really bad, then I’ll know the CES was helping and will buy it again…At least that is what I’m thinking at the moment.