[9/25, 9/26, 9/27]
I’ve continued taking my medications at their usual dosages, but the last few days have continued to be rough for me. Again, it is not so much a return to a dark depression as it is an absence of the lightness I had been feeling.
I’ve been waking up earlier – Wednesday 7:00 am, Thursday 7:30 am, Friday 5:15 am, and today (Saturday) 6 am. I’m not sure why. I also seem to be falling to sleep earlier (e.g. sometimes 10:30 pm or 11:00 pm). I suspect this may be effects from Wellbutrin and that my sleep rhythms are stabilizing for the first time in years.
I still have to take daytime naps – Wed. 1.5 hrs., Thurs. 1.25 hrs., Fri. 4 hrs.
The first two days were normal naps, but on Friday I took two naps – one 2.5 hrs., the other 1.5. I assume this was b/c I woke up too early (5:15 am) and the first nap was to compensate for this, the second was the usual. In addition, Friday is the day I see my counselor and while the session was not as intense as usual, it was still pretty intense and exhausting.
Each of these days I did manage to get outside and do my “walk and read” for a decent amount of time 30 min – 1 hr. I also have been “working up” to the seven minute workout – but am still a ways from getting there. I am doing the crunches and jumping jacks and can probably add another exercise today.
Joint pain continues to be a problem. I’m coming to see what I formerly saw as disparate symptoms being one unified symptom. That is – the pain/lack of flexibility in my ankles, knees, wrists, and shoulders – all resulting from the same cause.
Thinking about it, my hands and ankles where actually the first two to begin hurting – but I assumed my hands were from tendinitis or carpal tunnel syndrome due to my many hours spent working on a computer…my ankles I thought where a result of my one foot turning out a bit…when the knees began hurting I didn’t automatically associate it with the other joint pain, but most recently as I’ve had significant limitations in my shoulder joint mobility, I’ve began to ponder if they are all related…
With the youth group, when playing games and wearing one of the pinneys, I have to ask for assistance in removing the pinney, I can no longer lift my arms in such a way as to remove the pinney myself. This may sound like I am becoming an invalid, but not really. My arms still have a significant range of motion, but the act of both lifting my arms and simultaneously removing the pinney is beyond my abilities.
I continue to have blood draws via WellnessFX, and these actually show a decrease in inflammation, so I’m not sure what is going on.
In any case, by Friday afternoon I was feeling significantly better and had a very productive afternoon and evening. I’m optimistic that today will be another productive day – there is much I need to accomplish.