Eight

Eight. Eight more. Tomorrow is one.
Maybe then there will be light.
Eight. Eight more of darkness.
3rd. 5th. 10th.
Oh. God.

Don’t think about the future.
Don’t think about tomorrow.
Don’t think about today.
Each minute. Each minute. Each minute.

The Future = +Pain.
Can’t FEEL that pain NOW.
FEEL NOW pain NOW.
Enough trouble. Each day.
Of its own. Each day.
Enough trouble.
Hmmph. Hmmph. Hmmph. Hmmph.
Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.

YOU scare people. I scare people.
Don’t be ill.
Don’t be ill.
Smile.
Smile.
Hypocrite. No, I will not be.
Show. Show. Show.

Can YOU handle MY horrors?
Be Different. Be Different.
I Want. Different. To Be.
Different. To Be. I Want.
I.Am.Not.
wounded healer.
wounded?
healer?

fix me [i beg]
I WILL NOT [you say]
then you must accept me as i am [i say]
I ALWAYS HAVE [you say]
but others do not [i say]
WHO CARES? [you say]
how can i do what you want if i scare them away? [i say]
NOT FOR YOU TO KNOW [you say]

happy endings = spurgeon, luther, st. therese, ignatius
no happy ending = william cowper, [me]
how did cowper serve your purposes? [i say]
[silence] [you say]
Hmmph. Hmmph. Hmmph. Hmmph.
twitch.

i bow. i trust.
kill me. if you.
still believe. i will.
i can’t. you must.
i have none. give me will.
tears. none.
cry. cannot.
hell. here.

Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate
i hope.
despair. not.
i try.
carry me.

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