tired. exhausted. fatigued. weary. threadbare. spent. flagging. drained. worn. dog-tired. tuckered out. beat. empty. finished. haggard. pooped. bleary. tapped out. sapped. depleted. bled.

Francisco Goya's Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters, part of his satirical work Los Caprichos. This drawing was produced sometime between 1797 and 1799.
Francisco Goya’s Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters, part of his satirical work Los Caprichos. This drawing was produced sometime between 1797 and 1799.

church was good.

meeting was good.

seeing ender’s game was good [i was quite impressed by it].

visiting mike and sande was good.

but then there is that sinking feeling. alone.

why does it bother me so much now and so deeply?

i usually like to be alone.

i look up and see on my shelf “in Christ alone” by Sinclair B. Ferguson. i haven’t read it yet.

i look backwards and i see pain and struggle. i look forwards and i see the same.

i try to remind myself that it is not all pain – to focus more on the good. it was a good day – the pain was only for a few hours.

the pain speaks louder than the good…so i have to fight to make the good loud.

i remember Christ’s instructions. enough troubles in today. don’t think about tomorrow. stay present.

i feel pained. not angry, but sorrowed.

i don’t like people to be disappointed in me…but i am standing firm in it – though it rips me to pieces.

i don’t want this. can i wake up and it all be a bad dream?

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