Not Back Here Again

i slept 9.5 hours last night. i never sleep that long. i guess it is better than insomnia. still don’t feel rested.

i had one goal today – go to doylestown and file the paperwork. i’ve been putting it off and putting it off.

i laid down on the floor and turned the music up loud. i can feel the vibrations coming through the floor. i’m surprised the cats stay with me. i’d think it would be too loud for them.

i’ve taken my medications but i haven’t been able to eat. no breakfast, no lunch, and i still don’t feel hungry.

i spent two hours reviewing the paperwork one last time before making the drive up to doylestown. better be sure – b/c doylestown is way outside of my comfort zone for driving…i don’t want to go there only to have to go back again.

i’m missing papers. the instructions are crappy (two lousy pages). i guess i’ll need some professional help to sort through all this. i make the call. it feels like i’m lifting a hundred pound weight as i dial the numbers on my cell phone.

i wait for the return call. no, i don’t wait. i dread.

i’m wrecked.

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