Who and Why

JJ Heller has been, without contest, the most important musical artist in my struggles with anxiety. I’m listening to her song Have Mercy on Me and bawling my eyes out…something which I’ve been doing little of in recent weeks.¹For a long time I needed to cry, but then I got to the point where I was scared that it would never stop…now it has ceased and its coming back seems good…like now it is finding a happy medium that reflects a psyche that is healing.

Lyrics

I’m tired of being afraid
I’m wondering how I got this way
I’m trying to remember what life was like before
Panic moved in without even knocking on the door

Have mercy on me
I’m not who I used to be
Have mercy on me
Jesus, please

I’ve been praying and asking you to take it all away
You never do exactly what I say
You see me from the outside, a lover looking in
But all I see is danger moving underneath my skin

Have mercy on me
I’m not who I used to be
Have mercy on me
Jesus, please

I know it’s not because I don’t love you enough
It’s not because I’m weak, it’s how you choose to speak to me

Have mercy on me
I’m not who I used to be
Have mercy on me
Have mercy on me
I’m not who I used to be
Have mercy on me
Jesus, please
Have mercy

Listen

Addendum

Other songs by Heller I have found healing and soothing regarding anxiety include Control, In the End, and When You Come Back.

And, dropping by her official site, I just saw she is touring with Hawk Nelson in the fall – another band I thoroughly enjoy!