A Little Fun with Procrastination

I’ve been reading a book recently by Allie Brosh entitled Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened. The first two chapters (Warning Signs and The Simple Dog) were okay – but I found chapter three (Motivation) hilarious and insightful. May I share? Good.

“One of the most terrifying things that has ever happened to me was watching myself decide over and over again–thirty-five days in a row–to not return a movie I rented.” – 34.

I’m glad I’m not the only one with these issues. Mine spill over to the library – I don’t borrow library books much anymore, seeing I have single-handedly funded several libraries with my late fines throughout my relatively brief life.1Ummm, yes, I’m being hyperbolic.

I believe that Redbox machines are the devil and a trap. They promise me I can borrow a movie for $1 knowing full well that by the time I return it I will have accumulated an additional $4 in late fees. Therefore, I generally refuse to rent Redbox DVDs, choosing instead to pay extra to watch something on Amazon Unbox.

“I keep allowing it [procrastination] to happen because, to me, the future doesn’t seem real. It’s just this magical place I can put my responsibilities…” – 42.

This is actually a symptom of AD(H)D. Once upon a time I thought maybe I was spiritual b/c I didn’t worry as much as some people about the future,2Ironic coming from someone with an anxiety disorder. nope – its just me putting things in magical places.

“Procrastination has become its own solution–a tool I can use to push myself so close to disaster that I become terrified and flee toward success.” – 46.

Ugh. Why is this so true?

“A more troubling matter is the day-to-day activities that don’t have massive consequences when I neglect to do them. I haven’t figured out how to solve the problem in a normal way…” – 46.

Shaving my face.

Washing the laundry.

Taking out the trash.

Paying the bills.

The other means of coping Brosh mentions is shame. By shaming herself that she is a bad person if she doesn’t do x she can sometimes motivate herself to do x.

I can identify with this. Unfortunately, shaming oneself to do x oftentimes results in a mounting sense of failure which paradoxically causes one to resist doing x all the more, meanwhile y and z have piled onto the party.

Speaking of procrastinating, I’m supposed to be reading the chapters on depression, but I’ve been meandering around the other chapters taking my time getting there…

And this blog post…no, no, it has nothing to do with procrastinating…I never blog in order to procrastinate.

Okay, I’m going, I’m going. I’ll be productive, really.

Footnotes

1 Ummm, yes, I’m being hyperbolic.
2 Ironic coming from someone with an anxiety disorder.

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