Days 10 & 11 – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator

Gahhh…I was doing so well with recording for the first few days, but I’ve really slacked off. I think the consulting work has put a lot of extra stress on me (especially since several portions of the project went sideways) and I just haven’t been tracking my usage or emotional… Continue reading

Days 9 – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator

I’m going to make an entry just for the sake of not missing a day. The 19th of June was an okay day. I didn’t sleep much throughout the night and was still having various issues with the network install I was working on – which added stress. I talked… Continue reading

Day 8 – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator

7/18 – 8:45 AM Report Slept restfully, but utilized clonazepam to do so. Used the CES at Level 4. Feeling emotionally drained. 7/18 – 5:00 PM Report Didn’t get a chance to utilize CES in the afternoon. Day has been exceptionally rough – a lot of weeping. I think I’ve… Continue reading

Hell – My Faithful Companion.

Hell has haunted me since childhood… I knew there was evil out there somewhere, that it wanted me, and so I bargained with it. “You cannot attack me unless I am in the midst of forty other Christians.” How I thought I had some ability to make demands upon an… Continue reading

Day 7 – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator

7/17 – 9 AM Report As I reported in my last post, I awoke at 8 am in a fairly stable state, had not used clonazepam the night before , but had slept successfully. I utilized the device at Level 4 around 9 AM. 7/17 – 3 PM Report I… Continue reading

Day 6 – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator

As of yesterday morning (Tuesday, 7/16) I was semi-stable, but again couldn’t report on the effectiveness of CES as I had taken clonazepam (Monday, 7/15) to quell insomnia and legs. I used the device around 10:30 am (Tuesday, 7/16) and then again around 3 pm (Tuesday, 7/17). I then had… Continue reading

Day 5 – Fisher Wallace CES Journal

As of yesterday morning I was invoking self-protective defense mechanisms – essentially shutting off my emotions (don’t know if that is healthy, but it was the only way I knew how to cope). I used the CES device at 8:30 am (7/15) after getting a poor night’s sleep. 7/15 –… Continue reading

Day 4 – Fisher Wallace CES Journal

7/14 – 2 PM Report Still devastated, I do not expect the CES to relieve this suffering, but I’ll keep using it. Maybe it will help somehow – even if it is just that eventually, when this situational pain diminishes it will be effective and diminishing the underlying, continual pain.… Continue reading

Why It Is So Hard

It seems that the majority of individuals experience a baseline of peace in their lives which is intermittently punctured by tragic loss. I experience a baseline of pain with infrequent spikes of peace and intermittent punctures of tragic loss. This makes the tragic losses that much more difficult to survive.… Continue reading

Day 3 – Fisher Wallace CES Journal.

7/13 – 4 pm Report My morning went fine but around 12 pm something upset me. Usually when this occurs I feel very sleepy – and this occasion was no exception, so I laid down and slept for an hour. When I awoke I was still down, so I attempted… Continue reading