Days 19 / 20 – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator

7/29 – 11:30 PM Report Monday. It was neither a good or bad day. Three meetings outside of Nomads.  Significant amounts of reading. Nap and relaxing. Then to leader’s meeting and then to Nomads. We played Team Keep Away – which was a lot of fun, but extremely exhausting. At… Continue reading

It Isn’t Anything New.

Trying to process life and reading through some old journal entries…This is what it is like when the OCD/scrupulosity is pretty bad and is from February 11th, 2002 – over ten years ago. I would have just turned 18 in January. Crap! I hate my life. Why must I always… Continue reading

Hell – My Faithful Companion.

Hell has haunted me since childhood… I knew there was evil out there somewhere, that it wanted me, and so I bargained with it. “You cannot attack me unless I am in the midst of forty other Christians.” How I thought I had some ability to make demands upon an… Continue reading

Day 7 – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator

7/17 – 9 AM Report As I reported in my last post, I awoke at 8 am in a fairly stable state, had not used clonazepam the night before , but had slept successfully. I utilized the device at Level 4 around 9 AM. 7/17 – 3 PM Report I… Continue reading

Day 6 – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator

As of yesterday morning (Tuesday, 7/16) I was semi-stable, but again couldn’t report on the effectiveness of CES as I had taken clonazepam (Monday, 7/15) to quell insomnia and legs. I used the device around 10:30 am (Tuesday, 7/16) and then again around 3 pm (Tuesday, 7/17). I then had… Continue reading

Day 2 – Fisher Wallace CES Journal.

This is my second full day utilizing CES, I’m continuing my endeavor to keep a detail record of my experiences – especially regarding mood and side effects. 7/12 – 9:30 am Report I had breakfast with my brother, Paul, and so didn’t begin using the CES device until around 9:30… Continue reading

Day 1 – Fisher Wallace CES Journal.

I received my Fisher Wallace Cranial Electrotherapy Stimulator yesterday afternoon in the mail. I utilized it in the evening and now today (Thursday, July 11th) is my first full day utilizing the stimulator. I’m going to try and keep detailed records of my experiences, especially regarding my mood and any… Continue reading

Saturn Devours His Son

When I find myself in the black abyss I invariably see Francisco Goya’s Saturn devorando a su hijo (“Saturn Devouring One of His Sons”). Goya never meant for these works to be public, he painted them on the walls of his home between the years 1819 and 1823. There is something… Continue reading

For the Sake of Science?

Facebook is a passive feed mechanism. It doesn’t matter what your friends are talking about – it will show up in your feed…including if I write angst filled status updates. In this manner, Facebook can be a bit intrusive, bringing information that we don’t particularly want to see, or at… Continue reading

Holding It Together

I’m trying to hold it together… I’m used to episodes that are triggered by situations.1By this I mean there is a biochemical, physiological aspect to my illness, but there is also a contextual aspect, in which certain occurrences (life stressors) can overload me and throw the entire biochemical, physiological balance… Continue reading