Allie Brosh on Depression.

Intro I recently posted some excerpts from Allie Brosh’s  book Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened. Today I’d like to offer up a few more from the same, from her chapters entitled “Depression Part One” and “Depression Part Two.” This is Something… Continue reading

Wait a Second…

I saw recently that Netflix had added the recent film (The Other Woman) about Charles Dickens (and his mistress) to the available titles. I decided to watch it tonight while exercising on my recumbent. The film started off strangely – in modern day. I thought perhaps they were going to… Continue reading

Day 37 – Fisher Wallace CES Report

8/16 – 2:30 am Report

I awake around 12:30 and am unable to return to sleep until 2:30 am.

8/16 – 10:15 am Report

I’m up again at 8:15. I have an appointment with my psychologist at 9. It is good to see him – though usually I do most of the talking and at the end of fifty minutes it still feels like I haven’t been able to share everything that is going on – internally and externally.

In one sense, we aren’t making much progress. I’m someone who is drowning and he encourages me to keep on swimming. He doesn’t tire of the fact that I am swimming in the same lake over and over again each week – that the topics are oftentimes repetitive – an analysis from a different angle, and a different angle, and a different angle.

When the session opens he asks me how I am doing, I say well (for the circumstances). He is surprised. He notes that I look better – I am not as pale or worn. I told him I thought I had come to a decision – and that act rolled a burden off my shoulders (unfortunately, and somewhat as I expected, within a few hours I would be uncertain again).

8/16 – 12:15 pm Report

On the way back from the psychologists I stopped in at the pharmacy, St. Mary’s thrift, and Sunday Breakfast Rescue Mission’s thrift. I haven’t bought a lot of books in a long time – but I bought a decent number today – 28 I think.

I went home and organized for a shopping trip later in the day and then was exhausted so I utilized the CES and took a nap.

8/16 – 4:15 pm Report

I’ve been reading a lot of the Bible recently…I mean, a lot more than usual. I’ve read through Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy in the fairly recent past – Luke, Ecclesiastes, Job, Lamentations, and so on as well.

I intersperse my readings with Feedly (my RSS reader) – especially when working through genealogies and temple dimensions.

Then it is off to McDonalds where I have a free medium fry. I’ve downsized from a large fry to a medium fry…and I also always get a M&M McFlurry. What else? That is it.

I mean to go to Lowes, Redners, and maybe Target – but decide to start with Target and am able to get everything I need – groceries and an HVAC filter.

8/16 – 11:59 pm Report

After getting home I feel worn out again. I watch a TV episode, then read more Scriptures, RSS articles. I’m still exhausted and take a nap at 6:30 pm (always a bad idea). Back up to read more of the Scriptures and clean up my web bookmarks (which are always multiplying in number…like my books).

As the day has progressed I’ve become more and more depressed. My certainty has left me and I am like a ship blown about by the wind. I spend 1.5 hours reading about my current dilemma and then try to go to sleep around 11:15. I’m pretty sure I used the CES before I went to bed.

Day 36 (8/15) – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator Report.

I took the day off. I was doing okay emotionally – but I felt any additional burden would probably drop me into the pits. I used the CES in the morning, by 10:45 am I was tired and took a nap (1 hr.), I’d take two more naps (2:30 pm… Continue reading

This Post Has No Title.

“…but Yahweh will give you there a trembling heart, failing of eyes, and pining of soul. 66 Your life will hang in doubt before you. You will be afraid night and day, and will have no assurance of your life. 67 In the morning you will say, “I wish it… Continue reading

Day 35 – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator Report

8/14 – 9 AM Report I’m still stable, I have an appointment at 9:30 and don’t get a chance to use the CES amongst other busyness. 8/14 – 11:30 AM Report The appointment throws me for a loop. I feel exhausted and unstable. It relates to my ongoing crisis –… Continue reading

Sometimes I Feel Like This…

“If you treat me this way, please kill me right now, if I have found favor in your sight; and don’t let me see my wretchedness.” – Moses speaking to Yahweh, Numbers 11:15 (WEB). I’m actually feeling pretty decent right now, but I wanted to jot it down somewhere for… Continue reading

Day 33 – Fisher Wallace Stimulator Report.

8/12 – 2:15 AM Report I didn’t want to stop working on migrating the CCC website from Bluehost to DigitalOcean halfway, so I stayed up and completed the work around 1:15 am. I then used the CES and attempted to fall asleep – I’d finally enter dreamland around 2:15 am.… Continue reading

Days 30, 31, 32 – Fisher Wallace CES Stimulator Report.

8/9 Report Friday was a productive catchup day after being away since the 2nd. I saw my psychologist, picked up refills of my medications, used the CES in the early afternoon, paid the bills, made deposits, checked emails, and so on. I also squeezed in some time to relax –… Continue reading

The Way I Feel Sometimes.

“22 Moses returned to Yahweh, and said, “Lord, why have you brought trouble on this people? Why is it that you have sent me? 23 For since I came to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has brought trouble on this people; and you have not rescued your people… Continue reading